Setting the Table
For all of the fuss it can evoke, Thanksgiving is actually a great equalizer. I have shared Thanksgiving in settings as familiar as an aunt's owl-themed dining room and as exotic as an oyster shack on a ghostly boardwalk. Our beloved Mama Diva, whose Thanksgiving feasts were the genesis of the tradition we observe to this day, served from a stovetop in a crowded Harlem kitchen. We drank champagne and balanced plates on laps, and no one minded. I hosted my first Thanksgiving picnic style in a Brooklyn attic apartment; we had party crafts and blithely ate fried chicken and lemon biscuits along with the turkey and, again, no one minded.
During Spring Cleaning and again at Thanksgiving, my job was to carefully handwash all of the pieces in the china hutch. Once I proved I could handle such an important responsibility, I graduated to setting the table. Then as now, nothing gave me as much pleasure as setting a correct and beautiful table. My grandmother taught me how to space a place setting by handsbreadths both side to side and from table to chair. She taught me how to fold napkins (down, over right, over left) and place knives (blade towards plate) and angle the handles of coffee cups (4 o'clock). We shined silver from the oaken chest together, inventorying pieces as she told me what each was for. She had pieces I'm convinced she never used -- grape scissors, oyster forks -- but she damn sure knew what each was, and as I showed an interest, she taught me. And yes, I got called a sissy for being such a fussbudget in the school lunch room but in a time and a place where manners were actually taught, if not followed, in school, I was the only kid who got an A.
A correctly set table need not be fussy (though I, for one, am always charmed when it is). Though there are numerous styles of table service (High tea, anyone? Banquet? State?), for the home you only need to know three: informal, semi-formal and formal. Here is an easy-to-use guide to each, along with guidance for the buffet service that is a blessing and often a necessity at Thanksgiving, especially in urban homes where time and space are always factors. Whichever service you choose, use your nicest pieces, and don't be shy about mixing and matching. Whether you're using heritage china so important it has its own insurance policy or a twenty-piece set from the local discount house, it is correct and good if you are sharing the meal with family and friends. Remember, Thanksgiving is a great equalizer, and so should be a correctly set table.
Informal Service
Linens: fold the napkin into quarters and place under the fork. For informal service, you can fold the napkin in half and drape over the back of the chair -- this is common in outdoor settings.
Glassware: center the cold beverage glass above the spoon and knife -- imagine a rectangle beneath the serveware complimentary to that of the napkin on the left, and it will make it easy to align the glass. If drinking a hot beverage, the cup is placed to the right of the spoon.
Silverware: align all pieces along the bottom edge of the plate. Point the blade of the knife towards the plate.
Semi-Formal Service
Place setting: dinner plate, salad plate, dinner knife, bread knife (if serving) dinner fork, salad fork, dinner spoon, water goblet, wine glass (if serving), napkin.
Linens: fold the napkin into a rectangle and place under the forks.
Glassware: if you are serving wine, center the water goblet above the dinner knife's point and center the wine glass perpendicular to the dinner knife's point: they should form a right triangle with one apex each at the knife point, the center of the wine goblet, and the center of the water goblet. If not serving wine, center the water goblet as if for informal service. If serving a second wine, that glass is placed at an angle above the beverage service: they should form an equilateral triangle with one apex each in the center of each glass.
Silverware: align all pieces along the bottom edge of the dinner plate. Point the blade of the dinner knife towards the plates. Center bread knife if using above dinner plate with the blade pointing towards the top of the plate.
Dinnerware: place salad plate on dinner plate; clear after the salad course is consumed. Bread plate is not essential for formal service, but if using, center bread plate directly above napkin and place bread knife with the blade across the center of the bread plate with the blade pointing toward the bottom of the plate.
Formal Service
Place setting: dinner plate, salad plate, bread plate, dinner knife, bread knife, dinner fork, salad fork, dinner spoon, soup spoon (if using), water goblet, wine glass, napkin.
Linens: fold the napkin into a rectangle or other fold and center on plates. If using place cards, they are placed on the napkin. Do not place place cards directly on the table unless they are accompanied by individual salt and pepper cellars, in which case all three are centered above the napkin.
Glassware: center the water goblet above the dinner knife's point and center the wine glass perpendicular to the dinner knife's point: they should form a right triangle with one apex each at the knife point, the center of the wine goblet, and the center of the water goblet. If not serving wine, center the water goblet as if for informal service. If serving a second wine, that glass is placed at an angle above the beverage service: they should form an equilateral triangle with one apex each in the center of each glass.
Silverware: align the first two pieces on each side of the place setting along the bottom edge of the dinner plate. Align each additional piece of silver at the place setting with the center of the preceding piece; for example, the soup spoon if used is aligned with the center of the dinner spoon. Point the blade of the dinner knife towards the plates. Place bread knife across the center of the bread plate with the blade pointing towards the bottom of the plate.
Dinnerware: place salad plate on dinner plate; clear after the salad course is consumed. Center bread plate directly above napkin and place bread knife with the blade across the center of the bread plate with the blade pointing toward the bottom of the plate. If serving soup, you can place a soup bowl instead of or in addition to a salad plate. If you are not serving soup, it is not necessary to place the soup spoon.
Buffet Service
Several components of the Thanksgiving gathering lend themselves to being served buffet style. This includes the meal itself. If serving buffet style without a specific seating time, stack plates and rolled silver at the head of the buffet table, for guests to serve themselves as they wish. If serving buffet style with a specific seating time, set informal place settings at table for guests to serve themselves at seating time after toasts, grace, et cetera. This is a good solution for large groups with limited seating, when serving times must be staggered. For all buffet service, be sure to include an area to deposit used dinnerware, glassware and utensils, and check it frequently to clear it.
Appetizers. The Thanksgiving meal is so substantial that appetizers, if offered, should be modest. I like to offer a fresh relish or to showcase a special selection from last summer's canning, along with fresh bread or water crackers. These awaken the palate and are the perfect accompaniment for host and guests to share a special bottle of wine before commencing the main meal. To serve appetizers buffet style, stack appetizer plates and cocktail napkins near the appetizers being offered and invite guests to partake as they wish. Be sure to let everyone know what time you are seating for dinner so that they can pace themselves. Alternatively, circulate finger-food appetizers among the guests.
Cocktails. If serving cocktails with appetizers, offer a basic bar for individuals to mix their own, along with either a pitcher of a house cocktail or its ingredients along with a recipe card. During the cocktail hour, I like to showcase a special bottle of wine from the year -- for example, one purchased during vacation. The wine is either poured by a co-host, who can use the wine's provenance to start conversation, or is placed at the bar en carafe along with a card explaining its provenance. Remember that individuals still drinking their cocktail when dinner is seated may choose to bring their drink to the table, provided the glass is cleared once emptied; whereas wine begun before the meal begins can be continued throughout the meal.
Dessert and Coffee. At Thanksgiving, dessert and coffee are often served buffet style. For buffet dessert service, stack dessert plates and/or bowls, dessert forks and spoons, and napkins at the head of the dessert table for guests to serve themselves as they wish. For cakes and pies, it is appropriate to cut the dessert into slices and to slide a dessert spade under the first slice. Place coffee, coffee cups and saucers, coffee spoons, milk and sugar next to dessert. I like to serve a strong blend along with a flavored coffee. It is appropriate to have hot tea and decaffeinated coffee available for guests who ask, but these do not need to be placed on the buffet -- if they are requested, you can prepare them in the kitchen.
After-dinner Drinks. Serve after-dinner drinks from the home bar, or serve at table after it is cleared. Offer two or three selections along with cordial glasses and invite guests to serve themselves as they wish. I like to offer a selection of liqueurs (typically one each of fruit, herbal and coffee), port and cognac. It is appropriate to have cheese and fruit available with after-dinner drinks, but it is not essential.
At Table
Never chew with your mouth open and never speak with food or drink in your mouth. Do not bring personal items to the table. Pocketbooks, wallets, cosmetics, key rings, cigarettes, cell phones, PDA’s – all of it -- should be left with your coat. It is rude to check your makeup, fix your hair, send texts or tweets, etc. from the dinner table. If you want to take pictures of the meal, do it before everyone is seated.
To use the silverware, always work from the outside in. The outside silver will correspond to first courses. As courses are cleared, send the corresponding silverware away along with the plate or bowl. To pause while eating without having your place cleared, align the knife and fork (tines down) at a parallel angle across the plate running from the 4 o'clock point to the 10 o'clock point. To signal that you are ready to have the place cleared, place the knife and fork (tines down) in a wide V across the plate, with the V open at the bottom and both pieces touching at the 12 o'clock point.
To pass food and drink, it is most correct for platters, bowls and pitchers to travel left to right, but the head of table will choose the direction by launching the first platter. Everything should proceed in that same direction, each individual serving themselves, until each serving piece is back in place. No one should start to eat until everyone is served.
My grandmother always set a formal table at Thanksgiving, using a combination of Frankoma dinnerware from a Tulsa department store and Depression glass that dated to the era itself. Frankoma has a reddish cast due to the Oklahoma clay from which it is made and which typically shows through the glaze. She liked the Desert Gold glaze that burnished each piece to a saucy nutmeg tone that just exactly suited her personality. These pieces offset Depression glass pieces in Florentine yellow that I am sure my grandmother hoarded both against tough times and through them. She was a firm believer in the power of nice things (a trait that I have definitely inherited). I am sure she believed that setting out the evening meal during those hard times on pretty plates had a positive effect on the spirits of the hard-working people she was feeding, and I am sure she was right.
During Spring Cleaning and again at Thanksgiving, my job was to carefully handwash all of the pieces in the china hutch. Once I proved I could handle such an important responsibility, I graduated to setting the table. Then as now, nothing gave me as much pleasure as setting a correct and beautiful table. My grandmother taught me how to space a place setting by handsbreadths both side to side and from table to chair. She taught me how to fold napkins (down, over right, over left) and place knives (blade towards plate) and angle the handles of coffee cups (4 o'clock). We shined silver from the oaken chest together, inventorying pieces as she told me what each was for. She had pieces I'm convinced she never used -- grape scissors, oyster forks -- but she damn sure knew what each was, and as I showed an interest, she taught me. And yes, I got called a sissy for being such a fussbudget in the school lunch room but in a time and a place where manners were actually taught, if not followed, in school, I was the only kid who got an A.
A correctly set table need not be fussy (though I, for one, am always charmed when it is). Though there are numerous styles of table service (High tea, anyone? Banquet? State?), for the home you only need to know three: informal, semi-formal and formal. Here is an easy-to-use guide to each, along with guidance for the buffet service that is a blessing and often a necessity at Thanksgiving, especially in urban homes where time and space are always factors. Whichever service you choose, use your nicest pieces, and don't be shy about mixing and matching. Whether you're using heritage china so important it has its own insurance policy or a twenty-piece set from the local discount house, it is correct and good if you are sharing the meal with family and friends. Remember, Thanksgiving is a great equalizer, and so should be a correctly set table.
Informal Service
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| Illustration: Eric Diesel |
Place setting: luncheon or dinner plate, dinner knife, dinner fork, dinner spoon, cold beverage glass, napkin.
Linens: fold the napkin into quarters and place under the fork. For informal service, you can fold the napkin in half and drape over the back of the chair -- this is common in outdoor settings.
Glassware: center the cold beverage glass above the spoon and knife -- imagine a rectangle beneath the serveware complimentary to that of the napkin on the left, and it will make it easy to align the glass. If drinking a hot beverage, the cup is placed to the right of the spoon.
Silverware: align all pieces along the bottom edge of the plate. Point the blade of the knife towards the plate.
 |
| Illustration: Eric Diesel |
Place setting: dinner plate, salad plate, dinner knife, bread knife (if serving) dinner fork, salad fork, dinner spoon, water goblet, wine glass (if serving), napkin.
Linens: fold the napkin into a rectangle and place under the forks.
Glassware: if you are serving wine, center the water goblet above the dinner knife's point and center the wine glass perpendicular to the dinner knife's point: they should form a right triangle with one apex each at the knife point, the center of the wine goblet, and the center of the water goblet. If not serving wine, center the water goblet as if for informal service. If serving a second wine, that glass is placed at an angle above the beverage service: they should form an equilateral triangle with one apex each in the center of each glass.
Silverware: align all pieces along the bottom edge of the dinner plate. Point the blade of the dinner knife towards the plates. Center bread knife if using above dinner plate with the blade pointing towards the top of the plate.
Dinnerware: place salad plate on dinner plate; clear after the salad course is consumed. Bread plate is not essential for formal service, but if using, center bread plate directly above napkin and place bread knife with the blade across the center of the bread plate with the blade pointing toward the bottom of the plate.
 |
| Illustration: Eric Diesel |
Place setting: dinner plate, salad plate, bread plate, dinner knife, bread knife, dinner fork, salad fork, dinner spoon, soup spoon (if using), water goblet, wine glass, napkin.
Linens: fold the napkin into a rectangle or other fold and center on plates. If using place cards, they are placed on the napkin. Do not place place cards directly on the table unless they are accompanied by individual salt and pepper cellars, in which case all three are centered above the napkin.
Glassware: center the water goblet above the dinner knife's point and center the wine glass perpendicular to the dinner knife's point: they should form a right triangle with one apex each at the knife point, the center of the wine goblet, and the center of the water goblet. If not serving wine, center the water goblet as if for informal service. If serving a second wine, that glass is placed at an angle above the beverage service: they should form an equilateral triangle with one apex each in the center of each glass.
Silverware: align the first two pieces on each side of the place setting along the bottom edge of the dinner plate. Align each additional piece of silver at the place setting with the center of the preceding piece; for example, the soup spoon if used is aligned with the center of the dinner spoon. Point the blade of the dinner knife towards the plates. Place bread knife across the center of the bread plate with the blade pointing towards the bottom of the plate.
Dinnerware: place salad plate on dinner plate; clear after the salad course is consumed. Center bread plate directly above napkin and place bread knife with the blade across the center of the bread plate with the blade pointing toward the bottom of the plate. If serving soup, you can place a soup bowl instead of or in addition to a salad plate. If you are not serving soup, it is not necessary to place the soup spoon.
Buffet Service
Several components of the Thanksgiving gathering lend themselves to being served buffet style. This includes the meal itself. If serving buffet style without a specific seating time, stack plates and rolled silver at the head of the buffet table, for guests to serve themselves as they wish. If serving buffet style with a specific seating time, set informal place settings at table for guests to serve themselves at seating time after toasts, grace, et cetera. This is a good solution for large groups with limited seating, when serving times must be staggered. For all buffet service, be sure to include an area to deposit used dinnerware, glassware and utensils, and check it frequently to clear it.
Appetizers. The Thanksgiving meal is so substantial that appetizers, if offered, should be modest. I like to offer a fresh relish or to showcase a special selection from last summer's canning, along with fresh bread or water crackers. These awaken the palate and are the perfect accompaniment for host and guests to share a special bottle of wine before commencing the main meal. To serve appetizers buffet style, stack appetizer plates and cocktail napkins near the appetizers being offered and invite guests to partake as they wish. Be sure to let everyone know what time you are seating for dinner so that they can pace themselves. Alternatively, circulate finger-food appetizers among the guests.
Cocktails. If serving cocktails with appetizers, offer a basic bar for individuals to mix their own, along with either a pitcher of a house cocktail or its ingredients along with a recipe card. During the cocktail hour, I like to showcase a special bottle of wine from the year -- for example, one purchased during vacation. The wine is either poured by a co-host, who can use the wine's provenance to start conversation, or is placed at the bar en carafe along with a card explaining its provenance. Remember that individuals still drinking their cocktail when dinner is seated may choose to bring their drink to the table, provided the glass is cleared once emptied; whereas wine begun before the meal begins can be continued throughout the meal.
Dessert and Coffee. At Thanksgiving, dessert and coffee are often served buffet style. For buffet dessert service, stack dessert plates and/or bowls, dessert forks and spoons, and napkins at the head of the dessert table for guests to serve themselves as they wish. For cakes and pies, it is appropriate to cut the dessert into slices and to slide a dessert spade under the first slice. Place coffee, coffee cups and saucers, coffee spoons, milk and sugar next to dessert. I like to serve a strong blend along with a flavored coffee. It is appropriate to have hot tea and decaffeinated coffee available for guests who ask, but these do not need to be placed on the buffet -- if they are requested, you can prepare them in the kitchen.
After-dinner Drinks. Serve after-dinner drinks from the home bar, or serve at table after it is cleared. Offer two or three selections along with cordial glasses and invite guests to serve themselves as they wish. I like to offer a selection of liqueurs (typically one each of fruit, herbal and coffee), port and cognac. It is appropriate to have cheese and fruit available with after-dinner drinks, but it is not essential.
At Table
Never chew with your mouth open and never speak with food or drink in your mouth. Do not bring personal items to the table. Pocketbooks, wallets, cosmetics, key rings, cigarettes, cell phones, PDA’s – all of it -- should be left with your coat. It is rude to check your makeup, fix your hair, send texts or tweets, etc. from the dinner table. If you want to take pictures of the meal, do it before everyone is seated.
To pass food and drink, it is most correct for platters, bowls and pitchers to travel left to right, but the head of table will choose the direction by launching the first platter. Everything should proceed in that same direction, each individual serving themselves, until each serving piece is back in place. No one should start to eat until everyone is served.
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