Cocktail Parties

photo: Eric Diesel

We've concentrated on cookouts and picnics this month at Urban Home. We've brought wine to cookouts, filled snap-top containers with three-bean and potato salad for outdoor buffets, and assembled a mighty hero sandwich for picnics. It's a good thing we've gotten our practice in, for tomorrow's solstice is the longest day of sunshine in the northern hemisphere and the first day of summer. Since humans first began marking the passage of time, summer itself has been reason enough to celebrate, as these warm days meant not just sunshine but the maturation of crops planted in the spring and of livestock born then. We are well on our way to the harvest, with the autumn equinox only three (gasp!) months away, and that makes savoring every sunny day right now that much sweeter.

Celebration season kicks into high gear over the next few weeks, not incidentally mirroring a similar flurry of activity at winter's commencement. Summer weekends are lengthy, slow-paced and sociable. Cookouts and picnics are the foundation of socializing, but they take many forms. Though it is the season of summer homes, those of us who inhabit it don't neglect the cityscape. We sort through invitations for concerts in parks, cocktails on terraces, brunches on patios. This is a great time to catch up on museum visits, take in a movie at the art house, simply walk the cobblestones in companionship with other city slickers who haven't journeyed upstate or jitneyed to the Hamptons.

A gathering for drinks with friends is the most elemental of social pleasures. It's always nice to meet at a favorite pub for beer and darts, but there is a special satisfaction in hosting a cocktail party. How nice it is to press your nice things into service: setting out a cheese board and a stack of appetizer plates, rinsing wine glasses and cocktail shakers until they shine, filling serving dishes with crackers and dips. But whether you have a full entertaining service for twenty or are entertaining with paper and plastic, the setting simply sets the mood. It is the mix of conversation and clinking ice as friends both longtime and newly introduced take time to be together that makes any party a success.

A cocktail party is a simple gathering to host, provided you manage the event smartly. The fundamental details are date, time and attendance. If you manage those, then everything else will fall into place. Here are some guidelines to help you host a simple, successful cocktail party. Click here for a free printable download of the Urban Home Blog Guide to Cocktail Parties.

1. Invitations. The best way to manage date and time are to choose a day when most of the people you would like to invite should be available and then choose a span of time for them to drop by. A two-hour span of time after work hours on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday works well, as does a three-hour span of time on a Sunday afternoon. It's usually fruitless to suggest Friday and Monday as these are travel days, and Saturday will be tricky unless you want to host a more elaborate event. Though some light reconnaissance may be helpful, you risk frustration if you deploy the customary email requesting everyone's availability. It is more effective to choose a date and time when most of your invitees can reasonably be expected to be available, and send the invitation with those details confirmed.

It is always correct to deliver an invitation on paper (for formal events, it is mandatory), but for informal events, including cocktail parties, electronic invitations are not incorrect. Click here for a downloadable paper cocktail party invitation. However it is delivered, the first line of an invitation (electronically, the subject line) states the type of event. Details of location, date, starting time and duration, and who is invited (invitee or invitee plus guest) follow. It is always correct for a host to request RSVP, and always poor form, outside of emergencies, for an invitee either not to RSVP or not to honor the RSVP they provided. For this reason, there is no imperative for the host to chase down invitees who do not RSVP; assume their silence is a declination and do not plan for them to attend.

2. Guest List. Most of us have a collection of friends and family whom we would automatically invite; that is the simplest way to determine a guest list. As a cross-check, determine how many people can comfortably occupy your space and use that to finalize the guest list. Whatever that number is, once RSVPs are confirmed, use step 3 below to determine how much food and drink to provide.

It is unnecessary to make the common mistake of agonizing over the guest list. Yes, there is such a thing as a social obligation, but a cocktail party is an informal event and as such is legitimately outside of the realm of most social obligations. You are not obligated to invite anyone other than whom you would like to attend if they can; but neither is anyone obligated to attend. That said, however an invitee does RSVP (see step 1 above), it is very poor form, outside of emergencies, for them not to honor that: to attend if they have declined, not to attend if they have accepted, or to bring a guest unless they cleared that with the host prior to the day of the event.

3. Food and drink. Cocktail parties should be simple, with such elements as food, drink and decor reflecting that. Plan to provide two plates of food and two drinks for each attendee per two-hour block of time. Provide a well-stocked basic home bar or the ingredients for one or two signature cocktails and choose appetizers that compliment the bar without overshadowing it.

Appetizers
The focus of a cocktail party is the interaction among the guests. Cocktail food that compliments the bar, perhaps reflecting a theme for the party, provides hosts an opportunity to start conversation among guests as the host circulates. As a rule, simple, slightly salty snacks work best at a cocktail party, though this can be adjusted if you are planning a theme for the party or if there are local or house specialties to share with your guest.

For a two-hour party with ten invitees, it is plenty to provide a selection of appetizers culled from suggestions such as the following:
A board of 4 - 5 varieties of cheese, 10 – 12 ounces each, reserving one for replenishing
A board of 4 – 5 varieties of salumi, 8 – 10 ounces, reserving some of each for replenishing
A selection of 3 -- 4 spreads and dips, such as tapenade, olive relish, or a cheese dip
Simple tea sandwiches, such as cucumber or cream cheese and chive
A selection of seasonal fruit or a simple fruit salad
A selection of seasonal fresh seasonal vegetables
A relish tray
4 – 5 boxes water crackers or party toasts, reserving one box for replenishing
1 – 2 boxes mini pretzels or pretzel sticks, reserving half on one box for replenishing
A selection of mixed or spiced nuts

Bar
A nicely stocked home bar is a hallmark of a gracious home, for it indicates that the homekeeper is always ready to entertain guests. With a nicely stocked home bar, the homekeeper is also well positioned to host a cocktail party.

Stock a basic home bar as follows, which will also be more than adequate for a two-hour party with ten invitees:
1 1-liter bottle good vodka, such as Absolut, Stolichnaya or Grey Goose
1 1-liter bottle good gin, such as Tanqueray, Bombay or Hendrick's
1 1-liter bottle good whiskey or bourbon, such as Bushmill's, Jack Daniel's or Knob Creek
1 1-liter bottle good scotch, such as Johnny Walker, Dewars, or Chivas
1 1-liter bottle brandy or Cognac
1 1-liter bottle orange liqueur, such Triple Sec or Cointreau
1-2 bottles of good red wine, such as Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon or a household favorite
1-2 bottles of good white wine, such as Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc or a household favorite
1 1-liter bottle each sweet and dry vermouth, such as Noilly-Prat
3 1-liter bottles tonic water
1 1-liter bottle club soda
1 1-liter bottle seltzer
2 1-liter bottles cola, 1 regular, 1 diet
1 bottle bitters, such as Angostura or Peychaud's
1 bottle Grenadine
1 bottle Rose's lime juice
A selection of individual cans of juice, such as orange, cranberry, tomato and grapefruit
A tray of brined olives, maraschino cherries, lemon wedges and lime wedges

If you wish, supplement your bar with 1 – 2 bottles of an aperitif, liqueur or cordial or additional bottles of wine or liquor. These could include a coffee, herbal or fruit liqueur; a fortified wine such as sherry or port; a sparkling wine such as Champagne; or liquor such as rum, tequila or flavored vodka.

Guests will often ask what they can bring. It is correct to suggest that they bring a bottle of wine; any unopened remains with the host. With some exceptions, there is no need to supply beer at a cocktail party, but it’s correct for a guest to bring a six-pack or, alternatively, to help themselves to a cold one from the fridge. Finally, it is correct to ask a guest who dials in from the corner store to bring last minute necessities that the party is running low on, such as mixers, lemons, limes or ice.

As an alternative to a home bar, provide the ingredients for one or two signature drinks along with bar equipment and recipe cards (printing extra for guests to take home). See Urban Bar for suggestions on signature drinks. It is correct for guests who do not want to or cannot try the featured cocktails to discreetly fix themselves a drink from either the home bar or the refrigerator.

Bar-, Glass- and Partyware
Just as a nicely stocked home bar is a hallmark of a gracious home, so is having available a collection of bar- and glassware for both everyday usage and entertaining. A household collects homewares both from formal events such as housewarmings and showers and during routine upkeep. It is advisable to maintain a home registry at one or two favorite retailers, so that details of pattern, style etc. are always available not just for gift-giving occasions but for replenishing as needed. The staff at a good home store can help you decide which combination of items you want/need for your home. Two retailers we like in our urban home are Crate and Barrel and Williams Sonoma.

Stock bar-, glass- and partyware as follows, which will also be more than adequate for a two-hour party with ten invitees:
1 dozen each red and white wine glasses
1 dozen highball glasses
1 dozen old-fashioned glasses
1 dozen water goblets or glasses
1 set martini glasses (typically four)
1 set cordial glasses (typically six)
1 set champagne flutes (typically six)
2 cocktail shakers, one for clear liquor and one for dark liquor
2 mixing glasses, with measures
2 shot glasses or jiggers, one for clear liquor and one for dark liquor
1 set bar tools, to include bar spoon, muddler, and reamer
1 set wine tools, to include corkscrew, foil cutter, opener, neck spout and aerator
1 bar board dedicated to preparing garnishes
1 paring knife
1 ice bucket with tongs
Swizzle sticks and cocktail picks
2 serving pitchers
3 serving platters
2 dozen appetizer plates
A selection of serving dishes for spreads, dips, crackers, etc.
2 sets spreaders for spreads and dips
1 cheese board
1 set cheese tools to include narrow-blade, spade and plane
Bar towels
Cocktail napkins

Homewares accumulate over the years, so many homekeepers will find they have many of these items already in the cupboard. This is part of the charm and the ease of home entertaining, for as these items are pressed into service, memories surface from previous events. As simple an item as a swizzle stick saved from a vacation and placed in a drink is both a trigger for memories and a cue for conversation.

Once you have a basic set-up for home entertaining, you will find yourself drawn to additional pieces. This is the expression of personality that becomes a style of homekeeping and informs home entertaining. As you encounter them and if you wish, add specialty pieces such as vodka servers, Absinthe glasses, beer glasses, margarita glasses, a punch bowl, a fondue set, a Stilton spoon, salsa servers, etc.; or heirloom pieces either from your own family or from antique shops and tag sales.

4. Prepare and Relax. Early on the day of the event, go over the RSVP list to establish it in your mind. Double-check the food and bar and make final store runs if any, including for ice. Choose your outfit and iron/steam it so that it will be ready when you get dressed for the party. Stock the bathroom with guest towels, extra soap and an extra roll of toilet tissue. Vacuum and dust your home. Decide upon an area for coats and bags. Arrange the serving stations and bar.

Midday on the day of the event, prepare any appetizers that have not already been prepared. Place the appetizers in their serving vessels and refrigerate as warranted. Circulate through the party space, strategically placing cocktail napkins and coasters. Place any accents you are using, such as candles, lamps, candy- and nut-dishes, and flowers.

One-half hour before start time, review the guest list and any notes you have made on it. Make sure the telephone ringer is on. Set out the food, fill the ice bucket, and fix yourself the first cocktail of the evening -- you've earned it!